This website will be a safe space for women and women-identifying people who have been in a relationship with a narcissist, potential narcissist, and/or other personality disorders. This may be a parent, a sibling, a life partner, a spouse or a child–anyone that the victim was in a close relationship with for whatever reason.

The effects of having been in a relationship with someone who has a personality disorder are often subtle, long-lasting and can include PTSD/C-PTSD, hyper-vigilance, high anxiety, depression, insomnia, and a myriad of secondary physical symptoms. While none of the contributors here are doctors or lawyers, they are all victims of atrocious behavior. As you read their stories, you will see the similarities between the actions of the various perpetrators, as well as similarities in how the victims have reacted and struggled as a result. Some of the contributors are stuck in a relationship with their abusers even now, and are striving for ways to offset the toxicity they are still exposed to. All of their stories are amazing, heart-wrenching and full of wisdom.

We hope that you find common ground, a knowing that you are not alone, comfort, help, relief, a shoulder to cry on and solid resources.

Again, we are not legal or medical experts, but we can relate who and what has worked for us, including attorneys, advocates, books, mental health providers and government agencies, to name a few things. We will start various resource lists as soon as we can, including informative articles, some of which were written by our contributors.

Keep in mind that if we find it is necessary, this will become a “members only” site to ensure this is a safe place. Comments may be turned off and trolling will not be tolerated.

We would like to know how we can help you. There will be a special column called “Ask the Phoenixes” where several Phoenixes–our contributors–will offer their advice on what you can do to heal or move forward. If you’d like a question answered, send that question to and we will try to feature all questions in the column in the future.

Keep in mind: most of our contributors are NOT writing under their own names in an effort to keep themselves and their families safe. Some of us have protection orders against our abusers, while others of us are cyber-stalked and need to be hidden for safety’s sake. Thank you for your understanding.


– The Phoenixes –